Two Proxians and a Diary
by Twilitassassin13
Summary: THIS is what happens when Saturos steals Menardi's diary. Crackfic, Random Stories collection. Please review.


Random Mini-Story: Oh Noes! Saturos and Menardi Trapped in a Room Together

"SATUROS YOU GET BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY DIARY AND I WON'T KILL YOU THAT PAINFULLY!" Saturos was running as fast as his Proxian legs could carry him as his fellow Mars Adept and Proxian Menardi was screaming that and various obscenities that I can't write here Proxian. The red-eyed man clutched his prize to his chest… (Dramatic Music… NO NOT THE FUN SONG!) Dun dun dunnnn! MENARDI'S DIARY. Everyone was giggling madly as the duo ran- one to escape, one to capture. To say Menardi was angry was an understatement. She was enraged. No, not that either.

Imagine a Dei (Dei is what I'm calling Deidara) with pink hair, dyed by dye in his shampoo. Imagine an Itachi who just noticed that someone switched his purple nail polish with hot pink (As if the blind Uchiha could! LOL!). Imagine a Zetsu confronted with a "gift" of weed killer or the Authoress who went into her room to find it plastered with Sasuke and Itachi posters, painted pink and looked like it was decorated by TP and OoT Zelda, her clothes replaced with pink dresses, and a Jonas Brothers CD blaring.

All their rage alone could not come to form a fraction of hers. She had written very, very personal things in that small book. Most of which were about Saturos. And why had Saturos stolen that book? Well, let's just say that at a certain Ocarina Hylian's slumber party, Garet snuck in some sake for the men. Saturos refused, drinking water, but when he got up, a certain Mars Adept (COUGHCOUGHGARETWHEEZEHACKCOUGH) poured a glass for the man, mistaking the sake for water, he was so wasted. Saturos couldn't see in the dark, so he accepted the drink, thirstily gulping it down. Thus, he snuck into Menardi's room after getting drunk from a glass of sake. Menardi had woken up- it was only 11:00- and saw a very tipsy Saturos grabbing a diary. Her diary. Almost everyone was up, so that was when the scene occurred. Menardi just barely managed to grab Saturos, but the man twisted away from her grip.

"Saturos! Over here!" yelled Alex, motioning towards an open door. The Proxian ran flat-out to the open door. Alex stepped aside to let Saturos through, snatched Menardi's diary, and when Menardi ran in there, Alex locked the door. Impa appeared at the window, while Saturos squealed away from his fellow Adept's claws.

"Menardi!" Impa called, dangling the small pink book.

"Give… That… _back!_" she screamed as Impa held a matchbook up.

"You two work through your problems without killing each other and _then_ you get this back," the Sheikah told them. Zelda's protector dropped down and disappeared from view.

Menardi, not heeding Impa's warnings, advanced on the taller man with murder in her lighter red eyes.

"Menardi, you won't want to do that… Remember what Impa said…" her partner in Golden Sun said weakly, backing away feebly.

"I WILL KILL YOU SATUROS!" Menardi howled.

"I was drunk! Garet did it! Aliens took control of me! Ino Yamanaka took hold of me using the Mind Control Jutsu (Or whatever it's called, Shintenshin no Jutsu, I think)! Tobi drove me mad! Um… Itachi threatened to use the Mangekyo Sharingan! The Authoress made me so she'd have an idea for a story!" he cries. Literally.

Tears were streaming down his face as he thought of the torture Menardi would bestow upon him. The pain she would cause him. The inevitable change of underpants that would follow. She looked thoughtfully at her pitiably sobbing partner.

"Hey, Saturos… I've decided not to kill you." The Proxian male looked up at her, hope shining in his eyes.

"Really, Menardi?" He jumped up, beaming, and hugged her.

"But…," she continued, "You must…" And so Menardi named the price of her forgiveness. Saturos squeaked and clutched his silvery-blue hair.

"_A girl's haircut?_" he yelped.

"Rather die?" "At this point… Yeah, I rather would." She growled at her friend. "I hate you, Menardi…" he said, crying, a few minutes later. (God, is every male at the mansion thoroughly hair-obsessed?) He tugs at his short-er hair, touching the bangs, now smelling like Herbal Essences, most of the girly-girl's, Vaati's, Alex's and Deidara's favorite shampoo. He pulled his hood over his shoulder-length, barrette adorned hair, where it remained till it grew out.

THE END!

Note- Ivan, say the disclaimer.

_Ivan- twilitassasin13 doesn't own Naruto, Golden Sun, Herbal Essences, or the FUN song. (Ha… Such as loser.)_

_twilitassasin13- (_Looking up from a picture of Link_) Huh?_

**twilitassasin13- The tipsy Adept and the drinking is based on "The Kissing Monster" by MissDoomDragon, one of my favorite Golden Sun fanfic authors!**


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